‘Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy’
Hair. We all have it. God endowed some of us more generously than others. Billions of dollars are spent each year cutting, lengthening, shaving, waxing, dyeing, straightening and curling by men and women from all walks of life in their quest for a perfect pelt.
As you may or may not know, I am currently traipsing around South America. On my travels, I have encountered a particular trend regarding the humble follicle. Which is – hairy women.
Now, I must admit, travelling does encourage a certain slackness when it comes to personal grooming. First to go in my case was the make-up bag, perfume, jewellery of any kind and I can’t say my tweezers or razor have been getting a thorough workout as of late. However, I still make a special effort every once in a while slash month.
But these girls have not merely forgotten to shave for a few weeks. There’s a full length bush in full bloom right thur. And I’m not talking about that kind of bush. Underarm bush. And leg bush. To be specific.
I thought it was just the Germans that exhibited a certain partiality towards fully fledged underarm shrub. However, it appears that this was a misunderstanding I garnered as a child after going swimming with a particularly furry fraulein. (As an aside, the German girls I have met on my travels have exhibited a preference for the exact opposite tendency – and I mean bald eagle styles. And this time I’m not talking about underarm bush. How do I know this? After traveling with a couple of German girls for a few days we decided to all share a hotel room. Let’s just say when shower time rolled around, so did a couple of five year old girls if you get my drift. I was in a fluster. When it came time for my body bathe, what shall I do? Will they judge my pathetic prudishness if I fail to bare all? I ended up opting for the fence sit – throwing my top off and nonchalantly sauntering to the shower bare-chested yet boxered. I was safe. For now.)
Back to the point – it is safe to assume that the Germans are not the main offenders when it comes to female hairiness. Yet girls of many nationalities, shapes, sizes and interests are waving the wookie flag. And none, that I have met at least, have been lesbian. Sure, most of them have what I’d call a certain hippie flavor, but these are not butch bitches. Just bushy bitches.
My thoughts on this trend are mixed – one can appreciate the inherent freedom and liberation of such a move, not to mention the administrative rewards and precious pack space gained. However, I have not reached the point where I could proudly bare a bristly leg without some level of self-consciousness.
So, I will leave the question to you dear readers – is a Gypsy to shave or not to shave? I think it is probably safe to assume, as the collective bile rises in the throats of young males globally, the opinion you hombres will espouse. Go on, prove my presumptuousness in error!
In the meantime – I am keeping a razor-sized space in my pack… Just in case.
Sexy bitch
