Our Preview to The Oscars

Right about now the first of the less glamorous celebrities will be stepping onto the Red Carpet as the 82nd Annual Academy Awards get under way at the Kodak Theatre in LA.

What better way to get excited for this event than to see our predictions for what will unfold… We have covered the few categories and things people care about on this evening. Thanks to MMP contributors Budding Grove and Jooles Clements who helped put this together, here is a collection of our thoughts…

Best Host: Alec Baldwin or Steve Martin (the battle of the old dogs). As long as Baldwin is lascivious and slightly drunk he will champion the evening, Martin is ass.

Best Red Carpet Outfit. Ms.Victoria Burhart – 1st assistant Director on District 9 – she’s a New Zealander and she’s wearing WORLD!

Worst Red Carpet Outfit. I’m gonna pick Anne Hathaway because even if she’s dressed well, she’ll still make me feel like gouging my eyes out.

Worst Acceptance Speech. Sandra’s bollocks! Because surely she will win for saving the black fella and for making crap movies and now being in a supposedly good one. That’s almost as sure fire winning material as an actress de-prettying herself like Kidman in “The Hours” and Theron in “Monster”, both former winners.

Or perhaps it will be James Cameron (something along the lines of “I deserve this because I’m amazing”).

Best Actor in a Leading Role. God I hope it’s Bridges… the dude abides. Although Colin Firth was made to lose half his body weight to become a Gucci model which is commendable, and let’s be honest Morgan is playing Mandela, its hard not to give it to the living Messiah. As for gorgeous George, he keeps running the race just without a trusty steed.

Best Actress in a Leading Role. Gabourey Sidibe because Meryl has already won too much, it would be an embarrassment for Helen to win for this, Carey was not worth this accolade and Sandra did Miss Congeniality and Miss Congeniality 2.

Best Picture. It’s tough because they’re all a bit shit, perhaps they could just give it to Scorsese for Taxi Driver? Seems odd but may be steeped with more logic. But in any case I like Inglorious Basterds best because there was a “Jew Bear” and an “Apache” and Hitler got killed to death.

Best Direction. Again I’ve got to say Tarantino because it would be hilarious to see his speech if he beats all the blue people, the serious war movie and all the heart felt stuff. But he won’t. Most probably a woman with the last name Bigelow will win, I wonder if she will let Rob Schneider accept it for her?