Hungry Fran’s Guide to Dining Out

Dining out. It’s a wonderful wonderful thing. And when done right, it can be glorious. A total experience. To me, it’s just as good as going to a show, a play, a gig. Sometimes better than the biggest night out.

But sometimes it sucks. The service is terrible, there is no atmosphere and the food is awful – you could have cooked better at home. What’s worse, you’ve just blown $60, or $100 bucks a head.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. Here are my tips for a pleasurable dining experience:

1. Research. Read reviews, talk to people, read blogs, read guides, make an informed decision. You’re less likely to be disappointed.

2. Choose your company wisely. Don’t take someone who asks to split the cost of a glass of water to an expensive restaurant. It’s awkward for everyone. Actually, don’t  ever go out for dinner with a tight-ass. It’s just annoying and embarrassing. Likewise, don’t take people who aren’t interested in food to a place that focuses on food. You’re much better off going to the local Thai BYO. You’ll have more fun, it’s cheap and you can focus on the company not the food (I’m not dissing Thai BYO’s, I’m just saying).

3. Think mood and theme. Different restaurants suit different nights. A romantic, moody, dark Italian or French restaurant is best suited for two people. A date, if you will. Small restaurants don’t suit large groups, you’ll find it cramped, awkward, and you’ll want to get out of there.  If you’re dining with Grandma, she may not appreciate a stylish cool, Spanish tapas bar, and may be more comfortable with steak and three vege.

4. Plan. If it’s a cool, or popular restaurant, book in advance if you can, if you don’t, chances are you won’t get in.

5. Ask and think. Ask what the specials are. Don’t push shared food on picky people. If you’re friends are fatties go to the pub and get a Parma, don’t go somewhere that does small serves. Trust chefs. Contrary to popular opinion, if you ask them for their recommendation, they actually think about it, and aim to impress. If the place specialises in steak, buy steak.

6. Relax. If the service is bad, your food doesn’t come out, the table next to you is noisy, you’re cold blah blah blah -  whinging and getting in a bad mood won’t get you anywhere. You’re better to speak up early, be polite, and then move on. Don’t let one bad aspect ruin your night. It’s not worth it.

And just a final word on cost. Don’t go to expensive restaurants if you are concerned about pricing. You’ll just be stressed all night. If you do choose an expensive place, then enjoy it. Treat it with respect and just remember, you’ve probably spent more on shots at 3 am.