We all have a good friend who’s a bit of dick. In fact, most of our friends probably fall into this category. This competition will give a special Christmas prize* to the friend who most deserves a present, for the reason they are a munter/dick/lame-o.
Eg. My mate JD deserves a present cause he has a fist head and he hasn’t got laid in six months. Or – send my mate Laura a present cause she cried when I got “Laura is a homo” tattooed on my leg.
Email feedback@mastermousepatrol.com, tell us about your mate, include an image, and we’ll add the best entries to this page… Competition closes November 30th, winners announced December 1st. *The prize will be matched to suit the winning entry.
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Dear Master Mouse Patrol,
My name is Kate, I believe my friend Georgie Archibald deserves a Christmas present as she is perfect and totally awesome apart from a recent fuckup which I find rather hilarious (this fuckup in turn made her a munter/dick/lameo).
I flat with Georgie and she decided (ignoring the no pets allowed rule in the flat) it would be an AWESOME and GENIUS idea to get two quails. I think she had (in fact she may have mentioned such pre quail purchase) some big idea of how she could train the quails to be her little servants and do her every bidding. In reality however the quails smelt like old socks and would shit themselves if a human came within 2m of them. Georgie spent the next 5 months cleaning the quails cage out and, alas, her dream of quail servants was dissolving faster than the quails makeshift (cough cardboard box cough) cage. On what appeared to be a normal Tuesday morning Georgie discovered a horrific sight. One of the quails had turned all Judas and pecked the other quails head* – Judas had blood on his beak and looked like some creepy gremlin bird. Needless to say Georgie was traumatised and soon sold devil quail and gave away wounded quail (who you will be happy to hear is alive and doing well).
So this is the story of the ‘brilliant idea’ of the flat quails. Good one Georgie. MMP, please send Georgie a Christmas present to console her for the quail loss, and make her feel better about the whole situation. She really is awesome.
As for the photo: Georgie is the one on the right, ironically I (on the left, dressed as a mime or God knows what) look like much more of a dick than her, the other photo is one of the quails.
Many thanks,
Kate 
*I do not condone quail fighting and feel very sorry for the wounded one. I also must state that I believe Georgie was a great quail carer and the occurrence in question was just nature at work.
Kochie. Ye gods!
[...] a quick search around for more posts on the subject and found some more goodarticles. For example, Send my mate a Christmas present cause? « Master Mouse Patrol … by SGGW, posted last week, on a blog called Master Mouse Patrol – sexy, yet polite.: In [...]
You know SGGW, I loved this article so much that I posted about it (as well as some other articles on the same theme) on my blog. Thanks for taking the time to write it. P.S. I’d be interested to hear your opinion of my own blog post on the subject! – cars2scrap