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Hamilt-On / City of the Future!

By Frank Lloyd Wrong On June 27, 2011 · 3 Comments · In Architecture

What a fascinating place. What a fucking ugly, scary place. I was made to go and whilst there I took photos of some “gawd awful” buildings, they are not great shots because I was too scared to get out of my car.

I saw this little rapist hiding behind that winter worn tree just as I drove into town, if only I was on horse back with a gun and a poncho.

Look at him now…

Holy shit it is sooooo repugnant, there really is nothing to redeem it. Not even the symmetry can save this poor brute. Shit! Someone has some shit to answer for! My bet is the person did it as a cruel joke… ha ha ha bitches, enjoy this putrid colour scheme that looks like Hulk Hogan was drinking blue Powerade and Vodka eating corn chips and then vomited on my bathroom tiles.

This building seems to have tried to squish every 80′s look or detail into one disgusting technicolour repulsive mess. Was Hamilton even alive in the 80′s? I feel like it was just a contemporary development like Bird Flu.

Who works in this fucking thing? Is there a call centre in Hamilton I don’t know about? How does one keep any pride for themselves walking into this day after day? If you walk into this building does it actually lead into John Malkovich’s mind? Or possibly Weird Al Yankovic’s? The more I look at it, which is rather perturbing and I would advise against it, it does kind of look like one of those space crafts that were in those spacey games “Asteroid Destroyer” or something equally exciting, the same kind of pixilation and graphic simplicity exists, at least that was fun. This isn’t even funny.

I guess the most bizarre thing is the suicide balcony, I wouldn’t have thought that would be something to promote but I guess the kind of joker that emasculated Hamilton by giving it a pink and blue highlighter tree-scraper would want to really fuck with your morals as well as your taste. Perhaps they could get the guy who gets up on the cherry picker at Rugby games to go up there and play the tune of Thus Spark Zarathustra to welcome people to the end of time.

FLW

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3 Responses to Hamilt-On / City of the Future!

  1. pulchritudinous says:
    June 27, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    little rapist ha ha..

  2. Anna C says:
    June 28, 2011 at 10:40 am

    I believe its pet name is the blue toilet. I don’t know that because I come from Hamilton or anything. Honest. I mean I did, but now I live in Auckland. So I’m redeemed right?

  3. Julie says:
    June 28, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    i stare at this building in hamiltion every day. ha now ill laugh at the suicide balcony everyday.

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