Paralympics my foot.
These are the Megalympics.
This is better than sport. It’s no-holds barred robot wars. A succession of athletes not just honed to the limits of human endeavour – but well beyond. A series of super athletes grafted to their athletics equipment to make them better, stronger and faster than mere humans.
It is already starting to look more like the America’s Cup than athletics. The length of your carbon fibre blade seems to be the difference between gold and silver in the 100m. Rather than fight it – let’s embrace it. Let’s shed all inhibitions and moral restraint and approach this with the zealous thirst of a reality TV producer.
Let’s produce entertainment fit for the modern coliseum. Not content with a succession of Cyborg centaurs careering down the 100m track on carbon fibre wheels, let’s allow our new super humans to eat steroids by the twisted handful, give them engines and enormous robot machinegun arms. Let’s build Spring Man the high-jumper. Let us gasp in awe as a fleet of propeller legged breaststrokers are destroyed in the final of the individual medley by the first ever jet-powered swimmer.
Throw open the doors to competitions so fast that we can only appreciate them fully in slow motion, imagine the super-slow-motion footage potential of a bout between two fencers one featuring a surgically grafted mongoose and the other a cobra.
Eagle-eyed need not be merely a figure of speech for archers, and who amongst has not wondered if a lionman could beat a sharkman.
All in good time my friend.