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ALERT: Lindsay Lohan Is A Man…

By HitDanBack On January 21, 2012 · 1 Comment · In Social Observations

Yes. A Man. She is… According to her LA County booking sheet from earlier this afternoon… I know… I bet her dick stinks. Well, knowing is half the battle… Let the healing begin. The End.

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Robert Cavalli’s Nuts Want You To Text Them

By HitDanBack On December 3, 2011 · 1 Comment · In Social Observations

Si! Um. Here’s an awesome photo of fashion legend, Roberto Cavalli, bathing his bicentennial testicles in the healing waters of Miami… In that vein: Knock-Knock… Who’s there? “Orange”… “Orange” who? “Orange you so fucking glad this story isn’t about Donatella Versace sunbathing?” The End.

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Liam Neeson Peed His Pants…

By HitDanBack On November 17, 2011 · 1 Comment · In Social Observations

He did… Liam Neeson walked over to The Dorchester hotel after having dinner at Scotts in London last night and decided to piss a little… I know… Lots of times, people can explain away pee spots on their crotches by claiming that they spilled something on their laps, or maybe sprayed themselves accidentally while washing their [...]

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Jared Leto Looks Like An Asshole…

By HitDanBack On November 8, 2011 · 3 Comments · In Social Observations

fuck no. Ugh… Jared Leto showed up to the GQ Man of the Year Awards in Berlin the other night, looking like some sort of futuristic lesbian in a menses tux. I don’t even know why I bothered telling you where this picture was from… You know, as if it offered some sort of rational [...]

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Britney Spears looks like this now…

By HitDanBack On October 28, 2011 · 6 Comments · In Social Observations

“Puh-tate-uhz, ya’ll!” I know… Here’s a cool photo of Britney Spears performing a sold out show in Montpeliers, France over the weekend… I know… Not fucking good. On the brighter side, if she’s planning on dressing like a heaping bowl of instant mashed potatoes who are pretending to be a hooker for Halloween this year, she’s [...]

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Kirk Cameron’s Birthday Party Looks Fucking Awesome…

By HitDanBack On October 18, 2011 · 2 Comments · In Social Observations

I know… It really does… What a fucking rager… I don’t know much about this picture of Kirk Cameron blowing out candles on a shitty, nightmarish cake, couched in $5 footlongs with only The Holy Ghost as a guest, other than that it came from the Twitter of Christian video blogger Lane Chaplin, accompanied by the message: [...]

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Simon Cowell’s Got A Pretty Respectable Rack

By HitDanBack On October 11, 2011 · 1 Comment · In Social Observations

I know… I feel totally unabashed about the fact that I think Simon Cowell is a stone-cold, bristle-chested, smoking FOX… And apparently, I’m not alone because Simon topped the list of “Celebrities that women would sleep with, even though they feel that they shouldn’t”… No, really, apparently more than half of the women surveyed said that they’d [...]

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